crazy little thing called love

When I was younger, I wanted to be in love. Hey, it wasn't that long ago anyway. In fact, I still do want to be in love, but that's not the point. In my young self constructed vision of romance, I didn't really realize that there's another person involved in love. I know that sounds ridiculous, but let me explain. 

"Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking outward together in the same direction." -Antoine de Saint-Exupery

It's not about someone being in love with me. It's not about holding hands and flowers and chocolates and late night fireplace conversations and all that ridiculous romantic stuff that doesn't really exist successfully in reality. It's about caring for another person so much that you're willing to suffer for it, because they are your life. 

So how did I magically discover this? Let's just say, I'm not in love, but I'm the closest I've ever been to it. And I'm willing to wait however long it takes for him to realize I'm here. To really realize it.

Mmmm. I'm happy. :]

Let's Just Be For Once

I've found out a few things in my life. Not that they amount to anything, but they should account for something, at least to myself. I've found that at 3 a.m. you're no longer tired as you pour over meaningless text, but the oddest part of it is that you no longer care that it's meaningless. It's this sort of robotic meaninglessness. As if we live our whole lives that way. And maybe we do.

"No doubt we all deserve the dark, wordy, academic deaths we all sooner or later die."

- J.D. Salinger

Lately, my motto has become "I don't know." Because that's the only thing I know anymore. But you know what? Being meaningless isn't so bad after all. It just takes some courage.